(I originally had this posted on Facebook, but Mom urged me to post it here. This was written while in Germany... before coming to Turkey. Yes, I was in Germany for about five days before coming to Turkey. I will be here until... Wednesday at which point I will return to Germany for another fivish days before coming home. It has been very lovely, but very cold. I stupidly lost an AMAZING pair of gloves on the bus to Naples :( and did not realize it until coming to Germany and then being seriously annoyed because my hands were cold. Serves me right. They were well used in Cortona. I miss them.
Upon arrival in Turkey, we both did not see my uncle who was picking us up and did not see my bag which had to be checked in. Gordon thought he had their number, but didn't and I thought my bag would be with the rest of the luggage from my flight, but wasn't. It was with the 'International Flights' luggage. Such an annoyance. Ah well. Gordon was determined to find turkey to eat in Turkey on Thanksgiving, it turns out that it was entirely unnecessary as, just as I predicted, my aunt has a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner for us here. It was wonderful.
Alright, without further ado, the stuff I posted from Facebook. Mostly my thoughts on the Tea Fire and the end of the Cortona program.)
Something to contemplate a year later.
It came up tonight, The Fire did. It put our little, insignificant school on the map for the whole country to see. But people shrug it off. They say "Oh, Westmont. Didn't you all get caught in that fire a while back?"
And my mind flashes back to fluorescent light streaming through gray and a thousand students pacing or laying about, lackluster and in shock about the whole situation.
"Yes," I say, "I spent sixteen hours in a smokey gym."
I try to explain how it was, but they've already lost interest. It isn't real for them. It isn't real like it was for me.
They don't understand that every time I smell smoke, I think about how the ash burned my eyes every time I laid down.
They don't know that whenever my clothing smells like cigarettes, I remember how my clothing smelled like smoke, even after the shower at Kelly's and how after a month of them sitting in the car, because I didn't even want to bother with them, how even then, they smelled of smoke.
They don't realize that any time I see a light on a hill or something illuminating the night sky, I get a rush of adrenaline until I know for sure what is causing the light.
They can't imagine the sinking feeling of hearing the destruction over the loudspeaker.
They can't hear the wind screaming or see the orange sky or watch a red sun rise through a sea of ash.
Cortona.
Yes, it's all about that fire. Nothing can be quite so bad now. I can have patience with other situations. Getting up at 2:30 to wait five hours in an empty airport is nothing.
I understand people not understanding. I understand when they don't feel as I do.
They won't know the rush of meeting strangers and suddenly realizing you have another family, even if you don't quite feel like it yet.
They can't see all the art works mingling together from centuries and centuries all forming one long narrative, talking to each other and being able to talk back in their language.
They haven't heard the endless conversations of fifty people living in the same space and cooking in the same kitchen, drinking the same wine and tasting the same peppery olive oil and saltless bread.
They don't know the view that was never the same any two days. They aren't familiar with the burning in our calves from the hill, just not steep enough to be a staircase, nor the cold wind on our chapped faces brushing up the falling leaves.
They will never drink cappuccinos with quite the same relish. They won't visit the same places in the same sequence or walk quite the same foot steps. They'll never ride in the same buses or trains.
They won't hear the same voices chanting lessons, explaining the meaning of the cupids on Goliaths' helmet or why Mary's robe is always blue or why this line should be longer or how this needs more value or not to carve in that direction or how to order food without sounding like a complete idiot.
They'll never taste the same walnuts, pears, figs, noodles, pesto and cheeses.
They won't curl on the couch with the same people.
They won't know the echos off the high ceilings or complain about the light in the hallway going off after a few minutes.
And they'll never know quite the same feeling of bereft after leaving all this behind.
In the end, it's all about The Fire, isn't it?
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
From "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn"
By Betty Smith
The night was heady and frosty. There was no wind and the air was cold and still. The stars were brilliant and hung low in the sky. There were so many stars that their light made the sky a deep cobalt blue. There wasn't a moon, but the starlight served better than moonlight.
Francie stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms wide.
"Oh I want to hold it all!" she cried, "I want to hold the say the night is-- cold without wind. And the way the stars are so near and shiny. I want to hold all of it tight until it hollers, 'Let me go! Let me go!'"
"Don't stand so near the edge," said Neely uneasily, "You might fall off the roof."...
"I need someone," Francie thought desperately, "I need someone. I need someone to hold close. And I need more than this holding. I need someone to understand how I feel at a time like now. And understanding must be part of the holding."...
"Neely, if you had to die, wouldn't it be wonderful to die now- While you believed that everything was perfect, the way this night is perfect?"
Friends, it was my last day in Cortona on Tuesday. The last days were spent packing things and enjoying the company of my friends. We watched a meteor shower on Monday night/Tuesday morning. My friends, this was the perfect passage for the evening. We walked up to The Fortress
which is right above Santa Margarita (the church at the top of the hill above the JDK center. Oh, and also, did I tell you that Santa Margarita is the patron saint of Cortona? She protects Cortona from earthquakes and bombs. I somehow seem to remember talking about her, but maybe I didn't. Her big miracle is finding her dead lover in the middle of a field. I think the story is sad...)
But anyway, a friend and I went with some friends, most of whom were very alcoholically charged. Lexi and I were not, so we listened to the others and talked to each other and wished upon falling stars.
On Tuesday, we packed everything and had dinner for the very last time at Tonino's. We had dinner there the night before as the "Last Supper" which was Tonino's finest. Tonino's is actually a five star restaurant and hotel. We did not experience the "fivestarness" of Tonino's most of the time. Not that the food was bad, it just wasn't "five star." But the last supper was pretty good and it was also the twins' birthday. They turned twenty one. We've had many a birthday here, and it's great because they always make an extra effort at dessert the night where we have a birthday, not that it mattered that night... but we did have fun.
That was Monday night. On Tuesday night, the twins' dad came down. We took him to a place in town called "Dulce Maria" and had dessert. Apparently, I was very funny. I was making jokes about feminists, the Cookie Monster and Land Before Time (3,000,005! Watch them turn into oil!) And then I tripped, which was only funnier until the next day when I noticed a huge bruise on my left knee. The stories that left knee has. I think in a different life, I would be a comedienne. Maybe I will be some day... maybe.
On Wednesday we said good-bye to our dear Cortona and made our way to Naples. Napoli is a bit of a shock in comparison to the rest of Italy that we have seen. Naples is VERY industrial/urban. We have thus far been to very scenic and rural towns (even Rome had its rural moments). Naples is also scenic, but very much like a big city, full of cars and apartments and noise. It has been very hazy here all day. We went to the beach yesterday (not so huge for me since I have lived next to beaches literally my entire life) and it was very nice. The sand here is black and filled with sea glass and worn ceramic pieces. Sea glass, for those who don't know what it is, is glass from bottles or wherever, that has been worn away by the ocean to be translucent and rounded at the edges, much like smooth, round rocks only they are still in odd shapes. It's very pretty against the black of the sand. There were a lot of stairs to get down to the seaside. It made Cortona's hill look a little silly (but not much).
Today, we went to the Compadimonte, which is a huge museum that used to be a mansion filled with paintings from the Renaissance, Italian and otherwise. It contained a Caravaggio, which we all went on a mad hunt to find, before sauntering through the rest of the museum. It was a huge building and one could certainly imagine balls and events being held there before it became a museum. Then we hung out on the lawn for a long time, playing with a soccer ball that a couple of teenagers did not want anymore. Then we went to the Archeological museum. Lea called it "the Superbowl of Archeology." I must admit, it has a LOT of classical sculpture in it, including a room filled with "naughty" objects taken from Ancient Roman villas and homes.
During the 19th century when excavations were beginning to be made, naturally, there was a lot of scandal around these explicit objects that they found. Not wanting to damage the pure minds of the lady folk who went on the Grand Tour, they decided to take all of these objects and put them into one room, so that their gentility could be preserved. This just means that now we have a room full of ancient phallic objects. It's pretty funny when you think about it... rather than be spread out and less shocking, you get shock all at once... and a lot of it. Naw, it wasn't all that bad. Romans used these objects to ward away bad spirits. They were considered signs of fertility and because of the completely ridiculous nature of some of them, rather funny. And laughter was the best way to ward away evil spirits, thus these were talismans against bad spirits.
The rest of the museum was remarkable. It contained many figures and mosaics from bathhouses and from the temples located in Pompeii before the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. Most of these figures were colossal, well over twice to three times my height, I am sure. Oddly, though all of us have been feeling rather exhausted and we were all rather glad to be back on the bus to go back to our hotel. And now I am at an internet cafe... and very late for dinner.
The night was heady and frosty. There was no wind and the air was cold and still. The stars were brilliant and hung low in the sky. There were so many stars that their light made the sky a deep cobalt blue. There wasn't a moon, but the starlight served better than moonlight.
Francie stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms wide.
"Oh I want to hold it all!" she cried, "I want to hold the say the night is-- cold without wind. And the way the stars are so near and shiny. I want to hold all of it tight until it hollers, 'Let me go! Let me go!'"
"Don't stand so near the edge," said Neely uneasily, "You might fall off the roof."...
"I need someone," Francie thought desperately, "I need someone. I need someone to hold close. And I need more than this holding. I need someone to understand how I feel at a time like now. And understanding must be part of the holding."...
"Neely, if you had to die, wouldn't it be wonderful to die now- While you believed that everything was perfect, the way this night is perfect?"
Friends, it was my last day in Cortona on Tuesday. The last days were spent packing things and enjoying the company of my friends. We watched a meteor shower on Monday night/Tuesday morning. My friends, this was the perfect passage for the evening. We walked up to The Fortress
which is right above Santa Margarita (the church at the top of the hill above the JDK center. Oh, and also, did I tell you that Santa Margarita is the patron saint of Cortona? She protects Cortona from earthquakes and bombs. I somehow seem to remember talking about her, but maybe I didn't. Her big miracle is finding her dead lover in the middle of a field. I think the story is sad...)
But anyway, a friend and I went with some friends, most of whom were very alcoholically charged. Lexi and I were not, so we listened to the others and talked to each other and wished upon falling stars.
On Tuesday, we packed everything and had dinner for the very last time at Tonino's. We had dinner there the night before as the "Last Supper" which was Tonino's finest. Tonino's is actually a five star restaurant and hotel. We did not experience the "fivestarness" of Tonino's most of the time. Not that the food was bad, it just wasn't "five star." But the last supper was pretty good and it was also the twins' birthday. They turned twenty one. We've had many a birthday here, and it's great because they always make an extra effort at dessert the night where we have a birthday, not that it mattered that night... but we did have fun.
That was Monday night. On Tuesday night, the twins' dad came down. We took him to a place in town called "Dulce Maria" and had dessert. Apparently, I was very funny. I was making jokes about feminists, the Cookie Monster and Land Before Time (3,000,005! Watch them turn into oil!) And then I tripped, which was only funnier until the next day when I noticed a huge bruise on my left knee. The stories that left knee has. I think in a different life, I would be a comedienne. Maybe I will be some day... maybe.
On Wednesday we said good-bye to our dear Cortona and made our way to Naples. Napoli is a bit of a shock in comparison to the rest of Italy that we have seen. Naples is VERY industrial/urban. We have thus far been to very scenic and rural towns (even Rome had its rural moments). Naples is also scenic, but very much like a big city, full of cars and apartments and noise. It has been very hazy here all day. We went to the beach yesterday (not so huge for me since I have lived next to beaches literally my entire life) and it was very nice. The sand here is black and filled with sea glass and worn ceramic pieces. Sea glass, for those who don't know what it is, is glass from bottles or wherever, that has been worn away by the ocean to be translucent and rounded at the edges, much like smooth, round rocks only they are still in odd shapes. It's very pretty against the black of the sand. There were a lot of stairs to get down to the seaside. It made Cortona's hill look a little silly (but not much).
Today, we went to the Compadimonte, which is a huge museum that used to be a mansion filled with paintings from the Renaissance, Italian and otherwise. It contained a Caravaggio, which we all went on a mad hunt to find, before sauntering through the rest of the museum. It was a huge building and one could certainly imagine balls and events being held there before it became a museum. Then we hung out on the lawn for a long time, playing with a soccer ball that a couple of teenagers did not want anymore. Then we went to the Archeological museum. Lea called it "the Superbowl of Archeology." I must admit, it has a LOT of classical sculpture in it, including a room filled with "naughty" objects taken from Ancient Roman villas and homes.
During the 19th century when excavations were beginning to be made, naturally, there was a lot of scandal around these explicit objects that they found. Not wanting to damage the pure minds of the lady folk who went on the Grand Tour, they decided to take all of these objects and put them into one room, so that their gentility could be preserved. This just means that now we have a room full of ancient phallic objects. It's pretty funny when you think about it... rather than be spread out and less shocking, you get shock all at once... and a lot of it. Naw, it wasn't all that bad. Romans used these objects to ward away bad spirits. They were considered signs of fertility and because of the completely ridiculous nature of some of them, rather funny. And laughter was the best way to ward away evil spirits, thus these were talismans against bad spirits.
The rest of the museum was remarkable. It contained many figures and mosaics from bathhouses and from the temples located in Pompeii before the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. Most of these figures were colossal, well over twice to three times my height, I am sure. Oddly, though all of us have been feeling rather exhausted and we were all rather glad to be back on the bus to go back to our hotel. And now I am at an internet cafe... and very late for dinner.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
All Hallow's Eve
The joys of being in college on Halloween!
I just got an e-mail from my first cousin once removed about having to give out treats and sadly running out of fun-sized bits of joy. My mom replied with a comment on the fact that our neighborhood children apparently either don't trick-or-treat or simply just don't come to our house.
Well, my friends, I was very excited for Halloween and was not at all disappointed. I LOVE October. It's possibly my favorite month. I like July, also, obviously since it is party month at my house, but October is starting to win over. I had a fantastic October (see other blog entries) and was sad to see it go, but what a way to go!
I was a little disappointed getting up because I did not really want to go on our weekly field trip to heaven knows where. Then I read that we were going to Siena. Cool, I thought. Little did I know (I would have known if Grace and I hadn't skipped dinner on Friday night) that we were not going to Siena but Bevagna and Torgiano. Huh... so... again with boring little towns that no one has ever heard of... It didn't turn out so badly.
Bevagna was actually pretty nice. We went to a Medieval paper making place. They apparently do annual competitions in June around Medieval paper making with specific standards that they must follow in order so that they keep in line with how paper would have been made in the Medieval era. It was pretty cool.
Then they had a park which was very nice. It's all fallish here. The fall colors are in full blast with bright yellow leaves everywhere. We just sort of flopped down on the lawn and soaked in our environment.
Then we went to Torgiano, which was cold. We went to a wine museum. It had a nice printmaking and ceramic vessel collection. That was fun to see. The best bit was the view and sunset, though. It was very beautiful, especially because the moon was also up. I did not think that anything could beat Southern Californian sunsets. I think Tuscan sunsets would hold their own in a competition.
Then we went home. We were all supposed to come dressed up in costume for dinner. They actually are beginning to celebrate Halloween a lot more here in Italy. As far as I can tell, it isn't a HUGE deal as it is in America, but people carve pumpkins (they don't buy fake plastic or Styrofoam ones... they carve REAL pumpkins. Italians, I applaud you. Well done.) and children dress up and they sell firecrackers at the toy store. Wait, what??? Firecrackers??? Yes. None of us bought them, but you could definitely get yourself whole packs of fireworks and the kids around town had a lot of fun. America could learn a lot from Italian celebratory style...
Dressed up for dinner, eh? I didn't know what I wanted to be. At first I was like, I'll wear an overcoat and a hat and be "Carmen San Diego" but then I thought "No, I have had enough of stupid Halloween outfits. I know I can't be anything really awesome, but I'll dress up nice and look cool... yes. This is a good plan."
If anyone knows anything about stupid Halloween costumes, it's me. Freshman year of college, I cheered for ceilings. I was a "Ceiling Fan." (Wait for it to sink in... yeeeeah... that's right.... can't believe it, can you?) Sophomore year, I put on a bandanna and eye patch and attached a dollar bill to each ear. I was a "Buccaneer" (say it out loud... waaait for it.... yeah... even WORSE isn't it?) Last year... I was.... I don't know what I was... as I remember it... something to do with my roommate's extra corset, although I seriously gave much thought to putting a box with a bra attached to it over my head and being "Wall-E" (watch mom's eyes pop as she reads this...)
None of that for me this year. No, I was going to look nice... well... maaaybe I'd dress up as something... just a little.
For some reason, since Freshman year, I have had an outrageous amount of glitter in my make-up case. Why? I don't know. I suppose I have been waiting for the opportune moment. I didn't see a more opportune moment than this. I put on all black, with a deep red and black scarf I bought in Florence, but on a pair of black and silver dangly star earrings I bought and some really dark red lipstick and a whole heckovalot of glitter. What was I?
If you guessed beautiful woman making fun...er... being a vampire from the 'Twilight' series, you guessed right. I had SO much glitter on. I definitely 'dazzled.' This has been the First time I have ever been anything emulating something slightly frightening. Nothing can be more frightening than a sparkly undead person who stalks people and constantly tells them how delicious they smell.
Grace twisted her ankle in Bevagna (she's hobbling around on a sore ankle today. I don't know if it's just twisted or something else. She'll find out on Tuesday.) so she wasn't really into the Halloween spirit. She thought she would just go to dinner and head back up. How wrong she was.
They had a lot of great costumes last night. The printmaking professor dressed up as Frida Kahlo (ok, I totally thought about doing that one also last year when I had long hair... and a unibrow:) a few of the boys dressed up as a few of the girls on our program (not quite effective as the boys both have beards and did not shave them.) and several of the girls dressed as old people (one very convincing old man and three convincing old ladies). We also had a number of wildlife (a zebra, a deer and a bear) and a Native American, Robin Hood and Cupid all complete with bows and arrows. My personal favorite was our Art History professor who wore all black with a gold band around her waist and a red cap on her head. When she pressed down her cap, it lit up. Any guesses? She was a Lazer pointer! (She uses one for every class, so it was funny...)
At Tonino's, they had candy on each table and they had cleared out the room next to ours. They gave each table a bottle of white wine and a bottle of Moscato (really sweet sparkling wine. It's good stuff. Even the non-drinkers drink full glasses.) Then the music started in the other room. They brought in a DJ who was really... bad... but we didn't care. In my opinion he was actually better than a lot of the DJ's they have at Westmont. (Yeah, Westmont... you need to get with the program. The Italian guy who plays and sings Italian folk music which sounds very similar to Polka music is better than your DJ's.) He mixed in a few songs from Grease and the YMCA song and we had quite the dance party. (Grace went home after this, but she stayed much longer than she had intended on doing.)
Then everyone went down to the Lion's Well (the local pub) to continue to celebrate. They had a better DJ who was pretty darn good. Again, WAY better than Westmont DJ's. I ordered a Fuzzy Navel and thoroughly enjoyed talking to people.
All in all, it was a delightful evening.
(And also, I need to stop using so many parenthesis! Geez...)
I just got an e-mail from my first cousin once removed about having to give out treats and sadly running out of fun-sized bits of joy. My mom replied with a comment on the fact that our neighborhood children apparently either don't trick-or-treat or simply just don't come to our house.
Well, my friends, I was very excited for Halloween and was not at all disappointed. I LOVE October. It's possibly my favorite month. I like July, also, obviously since it is party month at my house, but October is starting to win over. I had a fantastic October (see other blog entries) and was sad to see it go, but what a way to go!
I was a little disappointed getting up because I did not really want to go on our weekly field trip to heaven knows where. Then I read that we were going to Siena. Cool, I thought. Little did I know (I would have known if Grace and I hadn't skipped dinner on Friday night) that we were not going to Siena but Bevagna and Torgiano. Huh... so... again with boring little towns that no one has ever heard of... It didn't turn out so badly.
Bevagna was actually pretty nice. We went to a Medieval paper making place. They apparently do annual competitions in June around Medieval paper making with specific standards that they must follow in order so that they keep in line with how paper would have been made in the Medieval era. It was pretty cool.
Then they had a park which was very nice. It's all fallish here. The fall colors are in full blast with bright yellow leaves everywhere. We just sort of flopped down on the lawn and soaked in our environment.
Then we went to Torgiano, which was cold. We went to a wine museum. It had a nice printmaking and ceramic vessel collection. That was fun to see. The best bit was the view and sunset, though. It was very beautiful, especially because the moon was also up. I did not think that anything could beat Southern Californian sunsets. I think Tuscan sunsets would hold their own in a competition.
Then we went home. We were all supposed to come dressed up in costume for dinner. They actually are beginning to celebrate Halloween a lot more here in Italy. As far as I can tell, it isn't a HUGE deal as it is in America, but people carve pumpkins (they don't buy fake plastic or Styrofoam ones... they carve REAL pumpkins. Italians, I applaud you. Well done.) and children dress up and they sell firecrackers at the toy store. Wait, what??? Firecrackers??? Yes. None of us bought them, but you could definitely get yourself whole packs of fireworks and the kids around town had a lot of fun. America could learn a lot from Italian celebratory style...
Dressed up for dinner, eh? I didn't know what I wanted to be. At first I was like, I'll wear an overcoat and a hat and be "Carmen San Diego" but then I thought "No, I have had enough of stupid Halloween outfits. I know I can't be anything really awesome, but I'll dress up nice and look cool... yes. This is a good plan."
If anyone knows anything about stupid Halloween costumes, it's me. Freshman year of college, I cheered for ceilings. I was a "Ceiling Fan." (Wait for it to sink in... yeeeeah... that's right.... can't believe it, can you?) Sophomore year, I put on a bandanna and eye patch and attached a dollar bill to each ear. I was a "Buccaneer" (say it out loud... waaait for it.... yeah... even WORSE isn't it?) Last year... I was.... I don't know what I was... as I remember it... something to do with my roommate's extra corset, although I seriously gave much thought to putting a box with a bra attached to it over my head and being "Wall-E" (watch mom's eyes pop as she reads this...)
None of that for me this year. No, I was going to look nice... well... maaaybe I'd dress up as something... just a little.
For some reason, since Freshman year, I have had an outrageous amount of glitter in my make-up case. Why? I don't know. I suppose I have been waiting for the opportune moment. I didn't see a more opportune moment than this. I put on all black, with a deep red and black scarf I bought in Florence, but on a pair of black and silver dangly star earrings I bought and some really dark red lipstick and a whole heckovalot of glitter. What was I?
If you guessed beautiful woman making fun...er... being a vampire from the 'Twilight' series, you guessed right. I had SO much glitter on. I definitely 'dazzled.' This has been the First time I have ever been anything emulating something slightly frightening. Nothing can be more frightening than a sparkly undead person who stalks people and constantly tells them how delicious they smell.
Grace twisted her ankle in Bevagna (she's hobbling around on a sore ankle today. I don't know if it's just twisted or something else. She'll find out on Tuesday.) so she wasn't really into the Halloween spirit. She thought she would just go to dinner and head back up. How wrong she was.
They had a lot of great costumes last night. The printmaking professor dressed up as Frida Kahlo (ok, I totally thought about doing that one also last year when I had long hair... and a unibrow:) a few of the boys dressed up as a few of the girls on our program (not quite effective as the boys both have beards and did not shave them.) and several of the girls dressed as old people (one very convincing old man and three convincing old ladies). We also had a number of wildlife (a zebra, a deer and a bear) and a Native American, Robin Hood and Cupid all complete with bows and arrows. My personal favorite was our Art History professor who wore all black with a gold band around her waist and a red cap on her head. When she pressed down her cap, it lit up. Any guesses? She was a Lazer pointer! (She uses one for every class, so it was funny...)
At Tonino's, they had candy on each table and they had cleared out the room next to ours. They gave each table a bottle of white wine and a bottle of Moscato (really sweet sparkling wine. It's good stuff. Even the non-drinkers drink full glasses.) Then the music started in the other room. They brought in a DJ who was really... bad... but we didn't care. In my opinion he was actually better than a lot of the DJ's they have at Westmont. (Yeah, Westmont... you need to get with the program. The Italian guy who plays and sings Italian folk music which sounds very similar to Polka music is better than your DJ's.) He mixed in a few songs from Grease and the YMCA song and we had quite the dance party. (Grace went home after this, but she stayed much longer than she had intended on doing.)
Then everyone went down to the Lion's Well (the local pub) to continue to celebrate. They had a better DJ who was pretty darn good. Again, WAY better than Westmont DJ's. I ordered a Fuzzy Navel and thoroughly enjoyed talking to people.
All in all, it was a delightful evening.
(And also, I need to stop using so many parenthesis! Geez...)
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